Hi everybody!
It’s me, changing my communication into English to reach everyone as much as possible :),
Here I would like to share an example of my experience with NVC in my own life. With great gifts coming to me along the way and process! And first to let you know what training and courses are available for you to implement Nonviolent Communication (NVC) into your life and work

Up & Coming in 2018

* May till December:

Coaching for everyone who needs tools for peaceful communication and mediation with the Self & Others. For costs and appointments please email: vragen@drivetolife.nl or call

+316 430 332 21
PLUS: offering FREE e-book Burn-out as Messenger, pre-subscribe through vragen@drivetolife.nl
* August till October, Basic Course NVC:

Is Peace Very Important for You? Are you looking for more Balance and Flow in communication with yourself & others? Would you like to learn new skills to help you solve or avoid a conflict?

Then the following Basic Courses are for you:

The Basic Course Nonviolent Communication in Dutch starts on Tuesday eve 4 sept, 8-weekly, till 23 Oct. Learning, Identifying, Implementing 4 NVC steps + Empathy with lots of examples and practice
Subscribe: vragen@drivetolife.nl

The Basic Course Nonviolent Communication in English starts on Thursday eve 30 August, 8-weekly, till 18 Oct.

Costs: 195-395 euros (choice). IMPORTANT: when you are doubting about money, please let me know and we will find a solution together!
Location: Nijmegen
Subscribe: vragen@drivetolife.nl

Sept 8th, How too’s with NVC:
Workshop, open to everyone to learn about what NVC can mean for your daily life.
Time: 10 am- 17 pm
Location: Amsterdam to be confirmed
Fee: 30-60 euros (choice or FREE when you lack finances), including coffee/ tea and lunch
Subscribe: vragen@drivetolife.nl
*** NEW ***

25 Oct- 13 Dec, Deepening Course Nonviolent Communication (in DUTCH):
Would you like to be inspired and trained through Deep listening & Implementation of NVC into your Life & Work? Then the 8-weekly Deepening Course Nonviolent Communication is for you. Here I will collaborate with another (C)NVC trainer and therefore the requested fee is higher

Time: 7 pm – 22 pm
Location: Nijmegen
Costs: 295-495 euros (choice). IMPORTANT: when you are doubting about money, please let me know and we will find a solution together!
Subscribe: vragen@drivetolife.nl

****
Soooo, what happened recently was that through a question from my boyfriend (and father of my son), I felt the gift to reconnect with him in a new way.

It all started with me offering to organise a weeklong trip to Vlieland, a Dutch Isle where in my single life, I went a few times with a close friend. I loved it there, for the camping site is right next to the North Sea with only one dune full of wild birds to cross. Also a place great for kids, space to play, interacting together and I thought it would be really nice for our 4- year-old. As well as for my boyfriend (Ooops, I already decided he needed some outoftheboxness).

For weeks I raved about how fun it would be, how lovely the surroundings, how cool to camp together and get out of our comfort zone to explore the world. Can you already imagine/ empathise/ guess what was happening inside of my boyfriend and maybe even our son? The pressure they might have felt that it ‘has to be nice’?

So a few days before we were leaving on Holidays, we were walking together in our neighborhood and I noticed some quietness with my boyfriend. Then I heard his soft voice and so my ears were open to listen. He questioned: “Can I also dislike it? I hear about how Vlieland should be fun and I will totally like it too, just like you’…But what if I don’t like it?”

First and very quickly there were thoughts coming up inside of me, while I sensed some feelings of shock, worry, quilt, sadness, disappointment. These were also some thoughts coming up as quick as a flash-light: “Am I not doing good enough? And ‘Jesus, I am organising all of this for him, for us, and now he asks me if he can dislike it all??” Judgmental thoughts which distract me to actually connect to myself and him at the same time.

In the past I would have needed days, weeks, years to calm down my judgemental thinking, my Jackals as I call them within the context of Nonviolent Communication. Now however, I have learned to welcome my judgements as I know there are important needs that ask, even beg for my attention, they so need fulfillment! One of these at this moment with my partner was beautiful: Connection.

And by lots of practice, now I stayed in the present moment and was able to connect to both our needs at the spot.

So I turned to him and asked him: “So is it that you so need to feel absolutely free to make your own choices
whether as to like or not to like Vlieland and camping there?”

YES. That was it. I bridged my guess to an important need he was asking to fulfill there: Freedom of choice.
From there on we could communicate and come to a mutually fulfilling dialogue where a request was alive: Can we go home if I/ we don’t like it? Yes, lets do that when we want that :).

Of course there can be so many more human needs actual in moments of confrontation, conflict, and frustration. And the art of aware, more natural ways of communication lies in there, that it is to find a certain balance between the needs of my self and those of another human being. They are equally important.

Loving life when I feel connection to my own needs and those of my fellow humans is what makes my life very full, fulfilling!

Vind je dit leuk?
Art historian who discovered the art of connection. Teacher of non-violent communication.

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